Nearly cried when I looked in the mirror. I never want to eat again. I can’t wait to go back to school… 45 minutes of walking a day plus I can go to the gym a couple of times a week. That, plus just eating a piece of fruit for breakfast and then my dinner, should hopefully leave me with a deficit of 900 calories a day. Since my BMR is 1300 calories, I am going to burn 600 by other means, and eat 1000… or less if I can get away with it. I need to lose 32lbs:-(

I an so scared about Thursday. My best friend is sleeping over on Wednesday night and we’re going to a big city shopping on Thursday. I am going to have to eat normally… A big breakfast, like cereal, fast food for lunch, chocolate for snacks, milkshakes, ice cream etc, or she will get really suspicious. I’m actually terrified… It’s going to be 2000 calories at least… I don’t know what to do.
I never want her to know how much i want to be thin because I think she is beautiful and I don’t want her to think she needs to lose weight…. We have the same body shape, she is that little bit heavier but also that little bit taller so it evens out. I think I’m obese and ugly but I think she is a perfect weight and beautiful, how? I confuse myself. I am going to put on so much weight on Thursday.

What the fuck. I am now 53kg instead of 50. How, why?! Fucking hell. Since the start of June I have been doing the 30 day shred every day but one, going on the cross trainer at random times, and eating around 1200 calories or less. I have also been on walks. How how how have I gained 3kg?! How

hideouslythin:

I gained 3.9 fucking pounds how is this even possible

Me too. Fuck